


Who We Are Together

by oceanwormsworld



Category: Who We Are Together
Genre: LGBTQ, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21608074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanwormsworld/pseuds/oceanwormsworld
Summary: Arin and Toby had it all, until they didn't. Pure luck and unexpected meetings seem to be the only things keeping them together anymore.
Relationships: Arin Locke/Toby James





	Who We Are Together

The taste of gasoline and the smell of fire ignite my senses and leave me gasping. I hate this taste in my mouth, it reminds me of you. You left me shaking, half deranged with the thought of you. I can't help it, I can't stop myself. It's almost like the thought of being near you again is intoxicating. It is, actually. God, what have you done to me? I shouldn't be here. It's bad enough that I'm here because of you but it's almost worse that I can't seem to leave. Fire licks away at the building near me, the smell and the heat wrenching its fiery hands into my lungs. My eyes burn from the sight and the heat seeping from the rotted burning wood. I'm standing way too close to this. It's going to burn down around me and I'll burn with it. I know I should move away but the sight of this burning building has me hypnotized.

A noise breaks my enchantment. "....in! Arin! What the hell are you doing? Arin, get away from there!" Oh. It's someone I know, I think? My brain is cloudy, smoke choking away any coherent thought I have. I hadn't realized I couldn't breathe until I couldn't see and fire began to engulf me. I feel something, no- someone, grab my shoulder and then both my arms and drag me painfully away from my near grave. My vision is foggy and I begin coughing as my lungs try to get in some fresh air, nearly failing. My body singed, a sharp sting layers most of my skin. I try to look around to see who dragged me away from the collapsing building, but fail to see anything past the watery haze that is my eyes. I rub them a bit and wince, as they hurt.

I hear the voice again, right in front of me, "Hey, what the hell dude? What were you thinking? Hey! Listen to me. Can you hear me? Arin, hey!" They wave their hand in my face, or what I think is their hand, I can't seem to clear my vision. I can't tell who's talking to me. God, my throat really hurts. I cough violently some more and try to catch my breath. I feel a gentle hand on my face and suddenly my memory catches up with me. Tears spring to my sore eyes and I begin to sob through my subsiding cough. The hand softly wipes away the tears trailing down my cheeks. The burns not bad enough to be very painful, but the sting still remains. The tears sort of help with the stinging. The tears also seem to wash out my eyes, and my vision seems to slowly return to me. I can start to make out the scene in front of me.

The building I just set ablaze is crumbling before me and fire reaches towards the sky, smoke billowing out from every hole in the roof, and the walls begin to cave in, shooting out more black smoke and ash. Crouching in front of me is you, Toby fucking James.

"Why are you here? Why did you save me? Isn't this what you wanted?" I move away from his calloused hand, and glance warily at him through my smoke and tear stained eyes. His face becomes one of confusion.

"What the hell are you talking about Arin? I've been here the whole time. I saved you because I don't want you to be dead? Why the fuck would I want that?" He states, clearly annoyed. I hastily wipe my tear streaked cheeks and move back from him, moving to stand. He grabs my wrist and forces me to look at him.

"Answer me, Arin. Why would you think that I would ever just let you die?" He gazes at me with both compassion and anger. Both equally concerning for me. I try to look away but he grabs my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye. I notice more things as I stare at him. He looks tired, bags starting to form under his deep brown eyes, his chin stubbly and coarse. His black, shoulder length hair looks messy and like it needs to be brushed. He looks worried. I give in a little and relax in his grip and tears well up in my eyes again as I try to explain what the hell I was thinking.

I stutter, looking anywhere but into his eyes, "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said t-that. I just thought.. well I just thought that since we aren't t-together anymore, and you said that you didn't want me anymore, you w-wouldn't really care that much if something happened to me..." I quickly finish explaining as he looks like he's about to yell at me, "I-I just.. I couldn't stand that this building still held together when we didn't so I- well I set it on fire. I poured gasoline everywhere and set it on fire because I couldn't stand to see it look like nothing had happened inside of it. Like we didn't happen." I catch my breath as I finish speaking, avoiding his gaze. He softens his grip on my chin and wrist and gently turns my face towards his.

"Just because we aren't together anymore, doesn't mean I wouldn't care if you fucking died, Arin. I'll always care about you. You know that, right? I didn't save you for no reason, okay?" I couldn't look at him, but I could feel his gaze burning holes in my head. He tipped my head up towards his and our gazes locked. My eyes begin to water again.

"I.... um.." I trail off, losing track of every coherent thought in my head. I can't stop staring at him. What is wrong with me? I feel the heat from his coarse hands against my body. His left hand trained on my right wrist, holding it gently. His right hand slightly gripping my chin, keeping me faced towards him. I can't look away. God, what is he doing to me? He raises an eyebrow, expecting me to finish my sentence.

"Look, I know that what we had was something special, I do, trust me. And, even if you don't believe me, I want you to know that I still love you. I just... I had to break up with you, Arin. I had no choice. If I could go back and do it all again, you would be the one thing I never changed. You're fucking perfect. You deserve better than me. You need to move on." he says, pain flashing in his eyes as he finishes. Move on? Is he fucking insane? And just forget about the last four fucking years I gave to him?

"What are you saying? How am I just supposed to move on, just like that? If you still love me then why break up with me?" I ask. God, I sound so pathetic. I feel tears, once again, rise to the surface and threaten to spill over. He moves his hand from my wrist and cups my cheeks in both of his hands. He stares into my eyes for what felt like years, and then sighs heavily. He seems to be carrying a weight on his broad shoulders, one I can't seem to see. I ask stupidly, "Are you okay?" He looks away and I see the flames from the burning building reflected off of his brown orbs. Looking back at me he leans closer, hardly inches left between us. My breath is caught in my throat. What is he doing? I can't think.

"Just.. don't move. I... I can't explain it, you're just so fucking intoxicating. I can't stop myself from being near you. My god, why are you doing this to me?" He chuckles, sarcasm lacing it. He looks down at the space between us, and then trains his heated gaze on mine. I can't seem to speak. He leans closer still. Fear and anticipation send my heartbeat soaring. I can feel his breath mere inches away from my lips. I don't dare move, scared of ruining this moment. He breathes heavily and I nearly faint from the adrenaline. He finally closes the distance between us and kisses me. His lips are soft and feel like something I've been missing my whole life. I can't stand it anymore. I let him in and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, closing the distance between our bodies. He deepens the kiss, one of his hands traveling down to my waist, pulling me ever closer, his other hand rests on the back of my neck, holding me to him. My breath quickens and I swear I can feel every inch of my body being engulfed in his embrace.

I hear sirens in the distance and so does Toby. We both pull away, reluctantly. He looks at me sadly and says, "We should go..." I nod and try to remember how I got here. I look around and see no car or anything. Toby notices me looking lost and puts a hand on my shoulder, motioning with his head to follow him, and I do. I notice that my body feels heavy and weak. I'm so tired. I try my best to keep up with him. About twenty feet away is his car, small and black, and we climb in. Seconds after Toby begins to drive away I feel myself falling asleep, lungs sore and choked, eyes bloodshot probably, and my skin stinging all over. I'm so goddamn tired.


End file.
